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BDSM, by definition, involves dominance and submission. A domination fantasy is all about being control, whether that means restraining your partner or simply calling the shots in the bedroom. This type of fantasy tends to be popular among women in heterosexual relationships and of course, relies on your partner being submissive. That said, BDSM is just as popular in same-sex relationships.
For the submissive, you make yourself vulnerable to your partner in some way. Perhaps you are blindfolded or handcuffed, or your partner whips or spanks you. This fantasy can be especially thrilling if you are used to being in control. Of course, you don’t have to be exclusively one or the other, you can be the dom one day and the sub the next.
Introducing BDSM
Before exploring BDSM you should have a conversation to set out your boundaries. Clearly discuss your limits and have a safe word, so that if it gets too much for one partner, you can stop the role-play. Start slowly and discover what you like together.
Try Blindfolds
Blindfolds are a fun and easy way to build trust when you’re just starting out with BDSM and are maybe unsure of how far you want to go. This will change the power dynamic straight away. The blindfolded partner is immediately in their partner’s hands. From here you may want to…
Try Spanking
Use an open hand and vary what parts of the body you spank. Start light and then increase force as you go. Remember to listen to your partner and stop if they start to feel uncomfortable. If you’re loving the blindfolds and the spanking it might be time to…
Introduce other sex toys and accessories
One of the best parts of BDSM is using props and accessories like restraints, whips and vibrators. Shopping online can save you from any embarrassment you might feel walking into a sex shop.
Once you have started using BDSM props and accessories make sure to…
Communicate with your partner during sex
Consent is an ongoing conversation. You don’t have to stop what you’re doing to ask if everything is okay (although if your partner says their safe word you should stop immediately). Just be aware and observant. Make sure your partner is enjoying the experience as much as you are.
Create an aftercare kit
Set some time aside after your BDSM session for you both to ease out of the headspace. Aftercare can involve cuddling, verbal affirmations and reassurance, rest, drinking water, kissing, scented candles and whatever you both decide you need.
Have fun
The most important thing of all is to ensure you both enjoy your BDSM journey. Sharing your fantasies should bring you together and make your relationship stronger. Browse our hampers catalogue for inspiration.
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