Is sex ever really like it is in the movies?
If you’re completely honest, not really. If only it was seamlessly sensual with the perfect amount of lighting without your wobbly bits getting in the way. Unfortunately, not all of us are svelte and supermodel-like. You know the type of sex we are talking about—the hot steamy, can barely get through the front door without tearing off each other’s clothes with your teeth kind of sex. The sort that leaves a trail of clothing leads to the bedroom where he effortlessly flips you like a coin on to your back. Your bodies fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. Legs snake around his waist and he knows all of your erogenous zones without having to direct him like a traffic controller. Oh, if only it was that simple.
Real life sex vs movie sex
However, real life is far flung from the bright lights of Hollywood, unless you’re in your early 20s and don’t have the creaky knees or aches and pains that accompany getting older. Once you’re married with kids, generally, you’re both doing it out of duty. Chances are you’d rather be studying the back of your eyeballs or watching Netflix. It never happens when you’re wearing your sexiest matching underwear. It’s bumbling, awkward, limbs get in the way, particularly the older and less agile you get. In the movie sex scenes, they never show the accidental fart, the clash of teeth during kissing or the glazed look of boredom when you thinking about the 61 other things you could be doing.
If awkward sex is your staple, keep reading….we’re about to share how to make sex less awkward.
How to have less awkward sex
Throw out the karma sutra
Find the positions that make you feel comfortable. If you’re a happier size (super curvy, big-boned—we hate the word overweight!), trying to manoeuvre yourself into positions suitable for a gymnast, is looking for trouble like dislocating a hip or throwing out your back. There are a number of different positions ideal if you are an amply proportioned, such as doggie style (only good if you don’t have dodgy knees), the elevated starfish – similar to the doggie, but taking the pressure off your knees by leaning on the edge of the bed with your butt raised, or the reverse cowgirl – this is a winner if your partner has a beer gut, and last but not least, the good old faithful missionary position.
Spice it up with a gift hamper
You are likely to be less awkward, the sexier you feel. Hampers 4 Two have sexy time hampers that can give you a confidence boost. A nice bottle of Australian sparkling wine can help loosen your inhibitions. Scented candles add a sensual, romantic atmosphere to almost any room (or you can go super kinky and try dripping hot wax on your partner—ask for permission first) And who doesn’t love chocolate body paint to help lick and nibble your way to Pleasureville.
Exercise helps with sexercise. Gasping for breath and not having the stamina to keep the momentum up can be frustrating for your partner if you have to keep stopping and starting. According to Dr William Kolbe, your desire to have Sex is decreased when you don’t exercise. His book The Rejuvenation of Masturbation offers an innovative approach to sexual fitness.
The overall key is to relax and enjoy, and even if you do pass wind, remember—most people have awkward sex, we just never talk about it. Before you do, head on over to our hampers page and check out our sexy hampers for two.